Hi, my name is Doug. I like wine, pizza, economics, politics, and Star Wars.
i have to be 100% moved out of my apartment in a week and i haven’t started packing
yes Wells Fargo i know my credit card is overcharged and no I can’t pay it back until i get paid on friday please stop emailing me i feel so attacked right now
i was having a great day until i saw the dc circuit court ruling on the affordable care act and now im livid
person: aw are you two dating?
jaclyn: no uh
jaclyn: he's my....
me: she's my best friend and future boss
jaclyn: yeah that
me: i realized i could do both things at once, so i decided to ethically-capture-and-later-release-unharmed two birds with one stone
me: like "kill two birds with one stone" except I don't want to think about dead birds