Hi, my name is Doug. I like wine, pizza, economics, politics, and Star Wars.

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omg it hasn’t been this cool outside after 7am since winter

omg it hasn’t been this cool outside after 7am since winter

sheriffsnorlax:

me + sedatives + video camera on my phone = terrible idea…

i don’t remember any of this

me + sedatives + video camera on my phone = terrible idea…

nitrous oxide is amazing because i thought my entire operation took 5 minutes and apparently it took 3 hours

also i’ve been sleeping for 12 hours

score.

LMAO my sisters and i have a group text with each other and ever since one of them moved across the country i forgot she’s in a different time zone so my other sister and i were talking about poop at 4 am her time

souljaboyemoji:

souljaboyemoji:

ammit420:

*dick hard but i gotta stand up*

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did u kno if u flex any muscle fah 60 seconds ya meat will retreat

I went 20 years w/o knowin my dick gotta cheat code, I needa spread tha good word

stand-up-comic-gifs:

Like fiery eyeball thing, no problem. But don’t even try to imagine a Samoan elf. (x)